I'm a big collector of Paukyman thingamajiggers, so one DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, I got in my pedophile white van to find some HYPER REALISTIC HACKED BOOTLEGGERS version of Pokemon Blue. There was some creepy old man snorting meth behind the counter, with a cardboard box on the counter. I looked inside the box and I saw an Orange cartridge, with a label reading "Paukyman Oarnge".
I asked him how much it was, and he said "TAKE IT AND GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!" So I took it and ran back to my house even though I came in a car, because FUCK YOU IM THE NARRATOR. I booted up the white brick that I called a Gameboy, and started playing. At the Game Freak logo, there was a creepy laugh, like a SKELETON! I shrugged this off because it was probably a HACKED version of the game, and I didn't have any other excuses.
Then when I got to Lavender Town, the game started telling me all these creepy messages, like, "YOU WILL DIE, AND BLOOD WILL POUR ALL OVER THE PLACE" and "SKELETONS WILL RAPE YOUR BODY". Then, I got the final message, "Return the game Orange", even though I didn't name my character after a fucking citrus fruit. And because I'm not a TOTAL jackass, I didn't return the game.
AND THEN SONIC.EXE AND TAILS DOLL AND JEFF THE KILLER AND SOMBRERO WEARING DINOSAUR POPPED OUT OF THE GAMEBOY AND WE ALL STARTED GANGBANGING MEGAN FOX AND SNORTED UP COKE THE END.